Week 4: Ask not what man can do for you...

Dear Reader,

So I had reached my last week. The honeymoon was almost over. As I said nothing was expected of me at work. However, I couldn't help noticing the outpouring of support. People were genuinely rooting for me and wished me well. Confidants were told of my real situation while people who hadn't grown close to me were told a cover story. At any rate, I was lauded for my decision. People were inspired, they to dreamed of heading off on an adventure of their own. Rising tides and all that.

From this point, I could pivot and tell you how I am such a great #betablazers. And get you fired up on taking that big step into the unknown. And how you should just follow your dreams and the rest will follow. Don't let life pass you by! I am not going to do any of that, not yet at any rate ;o)

Like I said at the time I was feeling fear. I turned to my lord for help. Organically I began to be introspective and did a lot of soul-searching. Here is what I found:

While reciting the Arabic the word that struck me the most was Khalifa.

Alhumdullilah this is a word that I recognize. From my studies, I have come to know that we were created to be god's representative on earth. Also known as a viceroy. What a regal sounding word to describe such a noble creature. Trekkies can recall from Star Trek : Nemesis the Reman viceroy. Although from a slave race he carried himself with confidence and bellowed at the crew:

Reman Viceroy Vkruk: Enterprise, we are the Reman Warbird Scimitar. 
Jean-Luc Picard: Praetor Shinzon, I'm pleased... 
Reman Viceroy Vkruk: I am not Shinzon. I am his Viceroy.

How gangster is that? And that is the exact mentality we need. No matter our circumstances no one can take away our core value. No one can fire you from doing god's work. You need not worry about pleasing other. That's the purpose of your creation. That is why you are here so it doesn't matter what other think as Allah knows best.

So what does that mean for you? This means that in order to find true inner peace, we must choose to accept our mission. The key for being successful in this mission is having a balanced internal state. That is we must be mindful of our emotional, physical, mental AND spiritual energies. All four must be recharged and harnessed by making sure our foundations are sound. Once these pillars of energies are recharged you can unleash your talents. Drive them towards establishing your legacy. Target your next opportunity. But most of all to ensure true balance be mindful of your social obligations. 

I am terrible at this. I am a natural introvert and love to curl up with a good book. Or watch a good movie or do research and then regurgitate that research on my blog. Notice how these are mostly solo activities. Yes, I have pure intentions as I wish to benefit others with my knowledge but you reading these words behind a screen lacks for a physical connection. It makes all the difference in the world to go out and meet people who you like and spend time with them, enjoying each others company.

But where do we start? Well this diagram helps me to focus:

Now I can't take credit for this one I came across it during a Productive Muslim Webinar (do check them out!). Notice how family is dead center. Therefore, that is where we need to start. If you are married that means start with your wife. Make sure your relationship with her is going smooth. I know that takes a lot of work. But we must maintain a happy and healthy relationship with our soulmates. All for the sake of Allah. If we can do this we can branch out and make sure our children are being cared for and nurtured. If your parents are still alive be sure that their needs are being taken care of in their old age. 

Pay attention to your relatives especially younger cousins. You can be a big brother/sister to them lend them a sympathetic ear. Make sure they are on the right path. Help them with their college and career goals. In the process, you will better yourself. Learn from your grandparents', aunts and uncles. They may be from an older generation and things may have changed but some things are universal and constant focus on gaining those nuggets of information. 

Did you notice a theme here? The call to action was that of service. Be of service to others. It is not about you, but what you can do for others. All the while making sure your intentions are pure, every action you take should be simply for the pleasure of Allah. Here is how I plan on serving each layer.

As I had mentioned core relations (family/relatives) are key without that nothing matters. After that, you will need to serve people that you meet on a regular basis. As per the diagram they are neighbors and colleagues. I would add to that friends. These three groups of people make up your social circle. You may not have much choice in selecting your neighbors or colleagues do to the fact that you can not always control where you live or where you work. But you can choose your friends. I would suggest making friends with like minded people. People who will help you on your journey, who "get you". This way you don't waste time explaining yourself. And you can get on with forging deep bonds.

Now it may seem obvious how you can serve your colleagues. Help out with workloads so that they can go on vacations. Do a good job so that they can count on you. And be easy to work with. These qualities were why people truly missed me when I left. And then serve your neighbors by a) respecting their property b) reaching out to them making sure all is well (a Muslim does not fill his belly while his neighbor starves, may Allah grant us Taufik). But how can you serve friends?

Well if you are just "hanging out" I would say that they are not true friends as they don't respect your time or theirs. You don't need a huge list of friends just a few good ones. Listen to them share their burdens. I have one friend who suffers from infertility as I do. We bonded over this issue as we helped each other out. Another friend shares my positive outlook on life. I love hearing from him as he always sparks something new in me. He is also goal oriented and motivates me to reach my goals. That's why I am always seeking his company. Try to keep a distance from friends who like to argue for argument sakes they are not helping anyone, including themselves.

Community. This is your neighborhood. For me, the best way to get involved is to go to the neighborhood mosque. I am blessed to live by 3 really great masjids. I also frequent another one that is a 30-minute drive from my house. The point being this is my way of getting involved with the community. Again the idea is to be of service and I am always on the lookout for just such an opportunity. It doesn't alway have to be big. One time when heading out for Fajr jamaat it was pouring.. I grabbed my boots and umbrella and made my way to the masjid, alhamdullilah. Afterward, I notice a youngster waiting by the door. I could have simply walked off in the rain not caring about him. But no I made an effort to inquire if he was alright and if he had an umbrella. Something small and insignificant but not to Allah.

Then we come to the global Muslim community or the Ummah. There are so many opportunities to serve this segment of humanity that I could not possibly list them here. The main thing is to use your talents best you can. I will present to you what I have in mind later on. Then we reach humanity all 7 billion of us on this floating blue marble.

To be honest I couldn't possibly engage with all of them. So I tend to focus on geeks and liberal minded people. As for the hate mongers out there, I will never cease to pray for their salvation. As the true enemy of mankind is iblis. May Allah protect us all, Ameen.

Want to know what happens next? Tune in next week! This is your brother reminding himself out loud. If you found something beneficial it was from Allah. If I have said something wrong it is my shortcoming and I ask your forgiveness. Saqinator out!

Week 3: The only thing to fear...

Dear Reader,

I give you...

"Metallica (The Black Album)" (1991)

"Enter Sandman"

"Now I lay me down to sleep

Pray the Lord my soul to keep

If I die before I wake

Pray the Lord my soul to take

Hush little baby, don't say a word

And never mind that noise you heard

It's just the beasts under your bed

In your closet, in your head"

Growing up in the 90's I remember blasting this track every time KROQ played it. This was the first time a heavy metal song went mainstream. For my reflective self, the above quote really struck me. A quick google search will tell you that it is an ancient prayer, steeped in wisdom. No wonder it struck a chord with me. If I may I would like to strike that same chord in you.

Can you imagine that each night we slip into a  coma? I am not being scientific here so don't quote me. But deep sleep is the closest thing to a coma that I have experienced. And yes we can go into the biological mechanisms that restore our energies and bring us out of sleep. But who controls that? If one day your body decides not to behave as expected, what will you do? Your family could call a doctor when they find you unconscious the next morning. But once the doctor has exhausted his bag of tricks, what else can you do? 

The point I am trying to make is that it is only by the grace of Allah that our bodies are restored. We know this through our beloved prophet, a living link to our creator. Read the following hadith

The Prophet said: “When a child of Adam gets up in the morning, all the limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: ‘Fear Allah for our sake because we are with you: (i.e., we will be rewarded or punished as a result of what you do). If you are straight, we will be straight; and if you are crooked, we will become crooked’.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhī]

From my understanding, he has placed great emphasis on the first words uttered in the morning. How many times, including myself, have our first words been swear words? When the alarm blasts in your ears and you are startled out of your sleep do you have an angelic prayer on your lips? For the longest time, I didn't have a single positive thought after my lord had restored me from my sleep. How ungrateful indeed.

That's why my gameplan includes a morning chant, as soon as I get up I ensure that I recite alhumdullilah, subhanallah and allah-hu-akbar 10 times each. You can also add on the kalma if you like. This way you do justice to your body and create a positive mindset. Furthermore, this recitation automatically informs the rest of your day. I can tell you the days on which I don't do this are the days where my negativity skyrockets. I feel frustrated as to why things are not going my way. This is not a healthy attitude to have. I remember when I was In Amway I listened to a CD that said you should think about your business as soon as you wake up. I always felt that was wrong. Shouldn't we pay tribute to being restored shouldn't we crave serving our lord to show our gratitude?

To drive home the point imagine you are being restored from your grave. Who else but Allah has the power to do that? Certainly a fellow creation can't no matter how "powerful" e.g. boss, police, or head of state etc. They are dependent on their lord whether or not they admit it. We get confused we think because our boss signs our check he owns us and we must submit to him. That we must forget our other obligations and just work for him. Use our god gifted body, energies and talent to increase his bottom line. This is no way to live and it all stems from wrong thinking. 

A word of caution. Please do not misread me. I am not implying any rebellious actions. Just like you wouldn't want your kids disrespecting you,  please don't disrespect those with authority over you such as your boss the police and other public servants. If you have grievances work within the framework (if you are being oppressed with no legal recourse trust in Allah and console your community elders) to have them addressed.

What I am advocating is a mind shift. I implore you to reject the reality that has been imposed on you and use your spiritual awareness to decipher another reality. I submit to you that people who you depend on for a paycheck are simply a conduit for the sustenance that has already been written for you. This sustenance will reach you no matter what. Just like the angel of death seeks you so does your income. 

The reverse is also true. You have people who are dependent on you. Such as your children, spouse or elderly parent. In that case, never be arrogant. I am guilty in thinking very highly of myself that because of the hard work I did I was able to feed my spouse. If tomorrow I keel over and I am no longer able to "work hard" will she just shrivel up and die? I think not. When my father died in my late twenties I was fortunate enough to be able to start working. You can also prepare your family by making them more independent. Also making investments to generate automatic income is another great safety net. Don't go for life insurance though. A strange notion for sure but I will have more on that later.

The point being you are simply a conduit for your "dependents". The sustenance written for them will reach them no matter what. That's why you should never put off having kids for the sake of money. I know it sounds counterintuitive but just think about it. Not having kids will stunt your emotional development. Your sense of empathy and compassion for another human being will never be realized to its fullest potential until you cradle your own child against your chest. The love that will pour out of your heart will be felt by all.

Incidentally these are the very traits needed in a leader. People will line up to work for you if you can show that you truly do care. So ask Allah to increase your bandwidth. meaning increase your capacity as a conduit so that you become the source of sustenance for your dependents (this can include your employees as well).

All of this was circling in my head the week after giving my written resignation. Sure work was easy now as I had entered into my honeymoon stage. Nothing was expected of me and pretty much got paid to do nothing for another two weeks. Heck, they even threw me a party. But I knew I would be without a job/income within a matter of weeks. This is where fear gripped me. What if I ran out of money? What if I couldn't pay my landlord? etc. etc. These were valid concerns and the associated risks needed to be mitigated. The irrational primordial fear was counterproductive and whispers from the devil. I had to have more faith in Allah. I had to have faith in the talent he had gifted me. I had a fight on my hands. A struggle for survival where only the strong survive.

Want to know what happens next? Tune in next week! This is your brother reminding himself out loud. If you found something beneficial it was from Allah. If I have said something wrong it is my shortcoming and I ask your forgiveness. Saqinator out!

Week 2: Declaration of Independence

Dear Reader,

Let's pick up where we last left off, shall we? I had verbally fired my biggest client, by more or less saying "I QUIT". She gave me the chance to think it over but Alhumdullilah I had already done all the thinking I needed before those words left my lips. Let me give you a bit of background.

During a recent trip to Pakistan, I stumbled across the Four hour work week, by Tim Ferris. It was tucked away in the back of a Liberty Books giftshop. I was familiar with Tim through his podcast which my college professor had recommended. So I decided to take home a copy. (Home you say? Meaning the states, right? Nopes, I can crash at a friend's houses in multiple cities, including Dubai. This allows me to be a global citizen but more on this later) I devoured the whole book within days. From what I can recall, there are a few key points to consider. First of all, if you truly want to be in control of your schedule always opt for remote work.

If you have a laptop, a good internet connection and a quiet workspace you have more than enough resources to support yourself. Also, go for incremental retirements. Gone are the days where you remained a loyal employee and worked for years on end for the same employer. Hoping to qualify for their pensions. In the age of Enron and downsizing, this is sheer folly. Furthermore, Islam teaches us that we don't know when or where our death will come. Who is to say that you will be around 20 years from now to collect that pension? I know we don't like thinking about our mortality but the fact of the matter is that death will visit us all and not always on our terms. Just ask Prince or MJ. 

That's why I have resolved to develop my Khushoo and pray each prayer as if it is my last. With 5 daily prayers, there are plenty of reminders of our frail existence. Which automatically wards off any arrogant notions. Add to that the meditative effects on focusing on your recitation bowing in submission and praising your creator.  Alhumdullilah I leave the prayer rug recharged and ready for my next challenge.

So I was itching to start a mini-retirement after 2 years of service. During Ummrah, I implored Allah to give me this opportunity. I knew the tranquility of focusing on what is important to me could not compare to any paycheck, no matter the amount. So as I thought things over, I developed a steely resolve my retirement will not be denied! I will most certainly resign and there was nothing more to it. 

And why shouldn't I? It wasn't like I planned on lying on a beach all day wasting my time and money. Heck no! That would be a disservice to my family who is counting on me to provide for them. In my hearts of hearts, I knew this route is the BEST way to provide for them. Just think about it. Our life's mission is to be like the prophets. We must walk in their footsteps to be truly successful. The prophets were all freemen. Do you think they worked 9-5 and then saved humanity during the evening or weekends? Umm...no. They worked on their mission 24/7 as long as their hearts were beating they strived to spread the good word. Simply put we need more freemen.

Liberating ourselves from imposed schedules is a must. We have the right to be in charge of our own calendars. This time was gifted to us by our creator, it behooves us to use it in a responsible manner. What does this kind of thinking give us mentality? We prepare for our death each time our head touches the prayer mat. The lyrics "I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose Fire away, fire away" come to mind (sorry for earworm). How can we be sure that after taking a hit we can get right back up? Easy, we must be honest with ourselves and seek harmony, be in tune with our destiny. This way we can flow along with all the ebbs and flows of life without having them tear us apart. 

Furthermore, I didn't have a plan for my retirement I had a gameplan. The difference between the two words is that the latter is more action oriented. Others seem to agree too, it looks like my  isolated musings were not that far off. There is another brother, mashallah, who has taken the same approach. Enter Dr. Meraj Mohiuddin, the author of Revelation. I watched a video in which he explained his origin story. 

One day while studying for his exams he realized that the amount of knowledge he had in head with regard to the medical profession paled in comparison to his religious knowledge. He couldn't tell you the historical context of a random surah (I am guilty of this as well). This was something that bothered him. So after completing his exam he decided to keep his exercise muscles fresh by applying the same academic rigor to his religious studies. After accepting a challenge thrown down by Sheik Hamza Yousef he went ahead and created a glossary of names to help students of the Seerah. One thing led to another and he produced a fascinating book on the life of our beloved prophet (PBUH). 

Surprisingly the good doctor views our beloved more as a coach than a teacher. The word coach is important as it implies action, training, and discipline. All things that are relevant as we seek to better ourselves. Far from being passive, we are encouraging ourselves to jump in and go with the ebb and flows of the movement of life, ultimately fulfilling our destiny by completing our twisting and turning journey right back to where we started, our lord. I just loved the fact that my gameplan was based on time tested and proven methods. I didn't have to sit with new age gurus telling me about foo foo ideas on productivity that don't even take into account that we have souls! The gameplay is fluid enough that I can and have tweaked it based on received feedback. Thus becoming a powerful tool to guide me as I ventured into my first retirement.

So come, Monday morning I sent off an email thanking my manager for taking me in showing me the ropes, developing my technical skills and facilitating me best she could every step of the way. I also mentioned my last date so that it could be communicated to Human Resources. After sending that email I could imagine how the founding fathers must have felt. Placing their names on the Declaration of Independence met a declaration of war. Mother England wasn't going to just sit by and let some no good colonist have their freedom. There was going to be a fight and they best be ready!

Want to know what happens next? Tune in next week! This is your brother reminding himself out loud. If you found something beneficial it was from Allah. If I have said something wrong it is my shortcoming and I ask your forgiveness. Saqinator out!

Week 1: Let freedom ring!!!

Dear Reader,

One week ago I quit my job. It was a nice corporate job at a large financial institute. But alas it wasn't for me. To be honest I would have stuck around except that my performance was low and I was struggling to keep up (this is when you need, to be honest with yourself and take stock of your skills. Only advertise those skills that you are proficient in as the expectation is for you to be self-sufficient in that area). My management gave me every opportunity to improve I dug in and tried my best. But it was not meant to be. I was placed on a 3-month notice, my last chance to improve. I figured since I clearly didn't have the mindset for the job (as the past 2 years had shown) what was another few months going to do? So after talking it over with my wife I handed in my resignation.

A word of caution. I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I knew I didn't have a future at the company. Accordingly I reduced my expenses like putting my masters on hold.  (I only did half the required credit hours, planning on resuming as soon as I can) Which allowed me to save up. Also, I don’t have a mortgage, my credit cards are paid off including my car (btw, since the dealership is no longer the owner I scaled down my insurance to the minimum legal requirement). I would encourage you to consider your financial status before giving up a steady paycheck. I had to ask myself how many months me and my wife could coast by with no income and based on the money I had on hand. The answer was several months, God willing. So I decided to take the plunge.

A strange sense of relief overcame me. During my remaining two weeks everyone saw a visible difference in my attitude. I went from a sourpuss, lethargic commuter to a happy energetic human. This feeling was wonderful. And I vowed to myself that I will NEVER let this freedom slip away again. So rather than scrambling to look for another job I came up with a game plan (more on this later).

Jobs seems to be the defacto way middle-class people earn a living. But we all know that this is not sustainable. What happens when you grow old? become ill? What do you do then? This is understood by me and others but there is a fear when it comes to venturing out on your own. It stems from a lack of guidance. Believe me, I am only venting here, this by no means is a success story. Rather I am relating to you what I am going through at the moment.

I am facing a lot of family pressure to get another job. Which doesn't make any sense to me. I have been moving from job to job for the past 10 years. I suffer for the sake of my family. But am I really doing them any good? I don't have children, yet (please pray for me and my wife). But I have every intention to have a child of my own. I want to leave them with a positive mindset. I can't do that working for someone else. Who doesn't have my best interest at heart, who cares only about the bottom line, who encourages servitude and browbeat you if you don't "make them happy". If this isn't slavery then what is?

I need to work for myself. I am driven by the entrepreneurial spirit. It is my internal state that is deeply concerned about the legacy I will leave behind that makes me shun the cubicle. I always knew this about myself and made several attempts to create something I could call my own. I chronicled my adventures in multi-level marketing on this blog (see a previous post). That didn't work out but since I had sincere intentions and had faith I didn't care about the outcome. Rather it was good to meet like-minded people who shared my passion for breaking free. I wish them the very best and keep in touch with to this day. After all, I learned a lot from them. Especially the concept of self-development. Something previously unknown to me.

The likes of Napolean Hill, Dale Carneige and other self-help gurus grace my library shelves. However, there was one key ingredient missing, in their books. Faith. Being a Muslim I am very cognizant about what Islam says about any and all issues. I wondered what Islam says about self-development. Turns out there is plenty. If you have not done so, check out Abu Productive over at productivemuslim.com. Mashallah the team at Productive Muslim have outdone themselves. They have done the research and have shown how the habits of our beloved prophet(PBUH) are still relevant to us in this day and age. 

I had mentioned a gameplan. In a nutshell, it is my daily routine, modeled on the daily routine of my beloved prophet(PBUH). Why this sudden love for the prophet? He was always a role model for me and I knew he is the last prophet. And that the Ummat is the humanity's last chance to submit to the true will of our creator. But I never understood why we should love him more than our parents, nay even more than ourselves. It wasn't until I went on Umrah and gave my salam at the side of this great man's grave that I came to realize the privilege I was bestowed. A sudden realization of all he has done all he has sacrificed just so that we can follow the beautiful religion of Al-Islam. The experience moved me to tears.

When I came back, to the states from my pilgrimage I was given the "bad" news. I had to sign a document that stated that I could not do the job. There were complaints documented against me. Complaints stemming from the fact that I could not deliver, due to the fact that the job was not a good fit for me. But what really disturbed me were clauses in the document that essentially said that I had to be even more submissive and docile if I hoped to hold onto my job. My manager expected me to be terrified, but I have a firm conviction that Allah never burdens a person than more than he can bare. And that my life's purpose is not to please other creations rather, I must strive to please my creator. So I signed the document and spent the night thinking about my next move. It was a no brainer for me I had to quit before getting fired. There was no way I could meet those strident requirements. 

So I gave my verbal resignation to my manager. She was great, God bless her soul. She couldn't bare to see me in any kind of distress and advised me to think about it some more. So that weekend I honed my gameplan some more. I thought through my whole day structuring everything against the five daily prayers, making time for family, exercise and dawah. This was the kind of freedom I always dreamed off! There was no doubt in my mind as to what my response would be, come Monday morning.

Want to know what happens next? Tune in next week! This is your brother reminding himself out loud. If you found something beneficial it was from Allah. If I have said something wrong it is my shortcoming and I ask your forgiveness. Saqinator out!

Passing of a Comedy Legend

I like laughing just as much as the other guy. Why do you think I don’t take the news too seriously? (Half of it is BS anyway, what with the media pushing its own agenda, brainwashing the masses) My primary news source is John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. What’s more I believe everyone should have a good laugh at least once a day. It’s the best medicine.

If you are familiar with desi pop culture especially the Pakistani comedy scene. You would have heard of Moin Akhtar. He was a talented comedian whose honest insights illuminated our society. Holding a mirror to our faults, he was the people’s man. Often being affectionately called Moin bhai, his cultured comedy was well received by all ages.

I remember spending countless afternoons at my aunt’s house watching his serials, dramas and comedy shows. His mannerism was contagious, we would find ourselves mimicking his dialogue in our daily lives. Even now after his tragic passing as I sift through old video clips of his work those pleasant afternoons are relived.

Pakistan has been given very few towering personalities. All too often they are taken from us much too early. Anytime this happens we are all overcome with a sense of loss. We find ourselves wondering who will show us the way now?

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. May Allah turn your grave into a heavenly garden. Ameen.

PS: Sorry Kate and William fans no commentary on the royal wedding from me. Mainly because I am too focused on my own wedding plus I am not British so I don't get it.

More toys!

No I am not superficial but there are material things that I have been hankering for quite a while. One is a digital camera the other is a car (more on that later). I need a way to keep in touch with family back home and this is a great way as they can see how I am doing. Here is a picture of me with my shiny sony cybershot:

This picture also fulfills the blog author pic quota for the month, whatever that means.At any rate this will also go a long way in sprucing up the place (meaning my virtual place...my blog folks!). There have been some really great events that have passed by. I only documented them with the written word but now I can supplement that verbal description with a visual one.

Plus the camera holds more significance I plan on using it to document my new life. A new life that started with my marriage to MW. It is my desire that with this camera we film many happy moments together. It could be anything from long drives across open highways, trips around town or even quite moments in our home. It doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing as long as their is a smile on our face and love in our hearts.

UPDATE: So I briefly mentioned getting a car and promised to have more details as soon as they came in. Well guess what the details are in...I got a CAR!!! I am a proud owner of the following automobile:

This beauty was given to me by my uncle. He recently bought a brand new car and decided to give me his old car. This just shows you how important family is. With out them we as individuals or even a species couldn't survive. Who else would put up with you, your morning breath or crispy eyes, with the mess you make, with your temper tantrums and what not. I told MW about the generosity of her uncle.And she praised him profusely.

It runs great and I love zooming down the highway (always observe the speed limit kiddies). Of course parking is a nightmare in the city. People literally stalk you for your space. Plus I got a ticket for a parking violation. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and signed up with a garage. They are willing to let me park at their place for a monthly fee. My building has a parking lot but it is full and I have placed myself on their waiting list. So let's see how long this arrangement will last.

But one thing man. Cars are expensive insurance, gas, registration fees, parking, repairs...the list goes on and on. I see my monthly savings shrinking in the near future. But hey it's worth it I don't have to carpool anymore. I can leave when I am ready, making me my own man. Plus I was thinking when MW gets here will I still be schleping around in the subways. How would that look? Poor thing riding subway cars with homeless bums stinking up the place. Now I feel more of a man as I can take her around town in a safe (I don't drink, I am a defensive driver plus I recite the dua for traveling plus another one my big sis gave me i have them taped to the dashboard for easy recitation) and comfy car.

Besides I am a motorist. So look out world because here I come!

UPDATE: So the car needed new tires they would shake and rattle anytime you went over a certain speed. Plus the steering wheel would jerk all of a sudden. I figured new tires and a wheel alignment would take care of that. So I went looking around for a good deal. My uncle, who gave me the car recommended Pep boys. I called them up but found out that they don't have tires for my nissan and would most likely have to change the rims. No thanks. Then I got to thinking maybe I should head on over the dealers to get it fixed. They even had coupons!

So I found a dealer and went over. Aside from the usual servicing I also wanted a spare key and new wiper blades. All of this was a one time cost for repairing the aging car. I didn't mind to much as it was gifted to me with the warning that it required repairs. Being a first time car owner I wanted to lavish the car with love besides MW would be riding shotgun (more on that later). After dropping the car off early morning they said to come pick it up in the afternoon. I left to do some errands around town old school, meaning on foot. (there's a very siendfieldish incident where I left my house keys attached to my car keys and had to leave my groceries with the neighbors to go get them but that takes from the post).

Around noon time I got a call stating that I needed more work done as the racket pinning was worn out and needed to be replaced. Realizing that they weren't BSing me I authorized the repairs. It would take a week as the parts had to be ordered. I was back to carpooling which was a real bummer. But the bruising didn't stop there. Once my co-workers found out about my car and that I went to the dealers they were rolling their eyes and saying you got screwed. I kept telling them that they had coupons!

When I got the repair bill I started understanding their concern. Over the weekends I ran the numbers and found out that I couldn't possibly afford their services as I would slowly but surely go broke. My co-workers recommended independent shops, really any one would do with an old car like mine as they couldn't do much more damage to it. Speaking of which I get a coupon for a free car wash from the dealers. When I went to collect the guys sprayed high powered jets of soapy water into my brakes while washing the wheels. When the car got out of the car wash tunnel it would shake anytime you braked. I gave the guy in charge a piece of my mind. But he assured me if I gave it time the water would dry out. Well the brakes did dry out and the shaking stopped but the road weary parts became squeakyish. Why is the world conspiring to ruin my car?

Anyways I had to find a new repair guy, one that I could afford. I found him in the yellow pages. We had a nice chat over the phone he gave me a good quote much lower then the dealer. Plus he turned out to be a brother. Which is nice but I want to see some paperwork before I hand over my car. Luckily they guarantee all their work. So in the meantime I am recovering from my folly. I have huge expenses coming up what with the wedding (more on that later on as well) and all. So I need to save up as much and as fast as I can. Can anyone say hutzpah!

Look what came in the mail!

I was coming home from work when I entered my apartment building. As per my routine I made a beeline to the mailboxes. I have to go all the way to the end because that's where the top story apartment's boxes are. I slid in my key and was hoping to find some important documents my lawyer was suppose to send me (which he didn't but that's another post) but instead I found this:

Isn't that nice? It's a greeting card from my employer. They are very nice people over there and I am lucky to be with them. That certainly made my day. I know I haven't been around here for awhile but I promise to do the minimum three posts per month thing. That's not a rule just something I challenge myself to accomplish.

Anyway I was fresh out of ideas when this card came along. What could be better than wishing each other Happy Holiday? So in the spirit of the season I am wishing all my readers a prosperous New Year and happy holidays (order doesn't matter, does it?). Of course for me This coming weekend will be just like any other. We don't get off Christmas eve so no long weekend. Plus in case you don't know I don't celebrate Christmas, boo am I Moslem.

But New Years gets me tingly something about learning to remember what year to write on my checks all over again seems like fun. We use the Gregorian calendar so much it's a shame we are not as adapt when it comes to the Islamic calendar. I couldn't name all the months if my life depended on it.

In other news I am still struggling to reunite with MW. We have come a long way in the immigration process but thanks to constant nit picking there is always something lacking. We always seem to be scrambling to find and assemble some kind of form or package of documents. When will this ever end? There has got to be a better way. Like teleport her over to our apartment. Then she could integrate into society and no one will be the wiser. "She just got in last night." I'll say if any one asks why they haven't seen her before. Sounds like a plan eh?

Speaking of challenges there is one I will be confronting tomorrow morning. No details about it just yet, less I want egg on my face which is no fun because its eggs...on your face.

So what arrived in the mail that cheered you up? Plus what are you holiday plans? Share with the class in the comment thread. Tata for now.

UPDATE: So what was the mysterious challenge that I didn't want to mention? Well it was my road test. You see when I was out of the country my license expired and by the time I came back it had already been more than two years. So the nice folks at the DMV told me that I had to start all over. So I did. I breezed through the written and got my permit fairly easily. Then came time for upgrading to the actual license.

Taking advice from elders, I decided to take classes first. I signed up with a nearby driving school. I took the five hour class which allowed me to schedule a road test appointment. I would be a month away. So in the meantime I was taking lessons every Saturday for about an hour. The first few lessons were kind of tense I hadn't been behind the wheel in NYC for awhile. But then it all came back to me. My instructor was very impressed and assured me that I would do fine.

On the day of the test I took off work and was in line waiting my turn. When the examiner climbed in with me we started the test. Going through the motions. I was doing okay, just a few minor mistakes like making a wrong turn (he said right i went left) not observing enough (I am a seasoned driver and didn't think it necessary to crane my neck like a chicken just to show my examiner I was checking my mirrors) and oh yeah my examiner was getting pissed at me for the minor mistakes....sooooo...not doing so well. The final nail in the proverbial coffin was when I had to turn left into a parking lot. On coming traffic was present but distant. I slowed down to turn but then hesitated coming to a complete stop. That's when he erupted "Come on man! There's no stop sign" So I braced my self and entered the opposite lane and quickly moved out of the way. The cars whizzed by without incident.

I pulled over and resigned myself to the impending verdict. "Sir, you need to take this test again." which was a nice way of saying you failed. My instructor went over what went wrong and scheduled another road test for me. Which was a month away. Joy. I had a month of anxiety to look forward to. I loss sleep over this folks. I needed my license to get to work, so that I could provide for my family. I watched you-tube videos showing what to expect during a road test. The SMOG (Signal, Mirrors, look Over shoulders, go) acronym put my worries at ease, plus Scan! Scan! Scan! is also a good tip (10 points for not observing folks, so every bit counts). They also explained that this was more about just driving skills but also a performance review. You had to perform for the examiner. It didn't matter if you had been driving for 10 years or 50 years if you didn't meet their expectations you weren't getting a license.

So taking that to heart I retook my exam this past Monday. I am happy to announce that I have been licensed to drive in the state of New York! Woot! Stay tuned for more good news in the coming days.

UPDATE2: Since this was a post about the holiday season it seems fitting place my new year wishes to my dear readers here. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! We made it through another year, may this one be filled with joy and prosperity for us all, Ameen.

Cooking up a storm

This weekend had me cooking up a storm. I kicked things off by heading down to the local C-Town. The owner is Palestinian and he hired mostly Bengali girls to man the cash registers (who says Muslim Unity can't happen?) Since he's the owner he has some leeway in his neck of the woods that's why he offers up halal delicacies like rotisserie chicken, ground beef, steaks, chicken and deli meats. Believe you me as a Hanafi I can really appreciate what this brother is offering. I decided to get some marinated chicken I could slice it up and use it as filling for my sandwiches, which I can easily stuff into my bag and take to work. I also loaded up on ground beef and got an Ortega Taco Dinner Kit.

After slicing up the chicken (which was fall off the bone perfection) I fixed myself a sandwich just to see what was in store for me. Pretty good if I do say so myself. Then I started working on the tacos. Nothing says prosperity more than a skillet full of meat. I can thank my new found job for that. It's been really rough but everyone has been real supportive. Something that I am very grateful for. The only thing that I can really complain about is the location. They're out in Long Island and I am in the city. With no car to speak of I am at the mercy of public transportation to get me to and from work. Which sucks because it costs a fortune. Luckily a co-worker is nice enough to pick me up and drop me off. Living in the same neighborhood helps.

But at any rate I don't like to burden others with my problems. That's why I am working on getting my driving license. I had one when i turned 18 but we left NY for good soon after. Upon my return I learned that since my license was expired for over 2 years I had to start the process all over again. It was like being in high School again as I poured over the driver manual. I briefly answered some sample questions and then went in to Jamaica's DMV.

Even if you get there early there will be a line wrapped around the block. That's because the building also houses workman's comp and a city run temp agency. So as people file in they filter off to various sections. I follow the DMV crowd which further breaks down as we reach the various queues inside the office. I got my picture taken (grizzly as usual) and then I went in to take the test. I nailed it the first time around, it mostly asked about alcohol consumption. Lucky for me the sample questions I answered were also on the test so go me!

Several weeks later with permit in hand I went to a nearby driving school and signed up for lessons. This Saturday was the first one. I came early to take the 5hr class and then went for a ride with the instructor. He was a friendly guy and bought me some tea (yes they are all desi). He was very knowledgeable and helped fine tune my skills. Hopefully I'll nail the road test when the time comes. Now all I have to do is save up for a car.

And that's how you cook up a storm.

UPDATE: Just to keep you posted about my shopping habits. I bought a bag of candy for trick or treaters. No one came yet, oh well, more for me! That's why you should by candy you like so that you can finish it. Otherwise it will get old and moldy and you have to throw it out. speaking of old and moldy i finally opened an old spice deodorant my late father gave me several years ago. It still smells fine and rolls on easily. So i use it but keep a close eye on my pits as they are very sensitive.

Eid Greetings

I want to take this opportunity to extend my heartiest good wishes to all my readers on a successful end to the blessed month of Ramadan. If you fasted your joy is doubled not only do you have the pleasure of meeting your brothers in sister with good cheer you also have the pleasure of resuming your normal eating habits. Hopefully you won’t overdo it and make yourself sick!

Like always Eid was unique this year. Each year the date goes back by about 10 days. That way there is no fixed season for the holiday as we follow the lunar calendar. Before Ramadan had started we were already calculating when the festival would be. Crunching the numbers we all came to the same conclusion it would fall on or around September 11.

With the mosque controversy, Gainesville and a general air of Islamophobia we did not want to give the haters another excuse to mock and ridicule us. We could only hope our community leaders could guide us to an amicable solution. One of the biggest problem we face as a people is the moon sighting. Typically the Arab brothers call it a day early while the Desi brothers call it a day late. Meaning the Arabs start fasting a day earlier while the Desis start fasting a day later.

This is just one of the silly things we do which is a cause of disunity. Naturally since there are two different starting points we get two different ending points to the month of Ramadan or Eid. Therefore our communities celebrate the festival on two different days and never as one. That changed this year. Everyone realized we couldn’t be seen celebrating for whatever reason on 9/11. It was a day of mourning and should be respected as such.

One ending point was September 10 while the other was September 11. Both ending points were valid and from a religious standpoint both were permissible. People would have been well within their rights to celebrate on 9/11, but we didn’t. In an unprecedented move the second date was dropped and the entire community celebrated on September 10. For once we were united as a people.

So that’s the story in a larger context. But what about me personally? Well that’s a different story. My family and I began anticipating the end of Ramadan during the last 10 days of the holy month. My mom called me at work telling me about how she bought a new pair of shalwar kameez for me. Plus the munchkins (my two little nephews) were hand crafting Eid cards for me. She was about to FedEx it to me when I asked her to include a DVD of my engagement. I left the movie behind and have been regretting the decision ever since. My mom said she would be sure to include it and send it over, I should have it within a week.

Lo’ and behold I did receive said package. I couldn’t wait to get home that day and open it up. The first thing that caught my eyes were the cute little cards my nephews had made. Scanned and reproduced here for your viewing pleasure:

The first one is by the youngest Bilal while the second one is by the oldest Hammad. I love being a maternal uncle (mamoo) to them. Gets me ready for when I have kids of my own. The outfit my mom had picked out for me was in good taste and suited my youthful yet refined taste. But my favorest gift of all was the DVD, I popped it in my laptop with eager anticipation. I dimmed the lights and my LCD came to life with the sounds and colors of two years ago. When MW and I promised to marry each other one day. I tell you my heart ached after watching that I looked around my empty apartment and didn’t see anyone, let alone the love of my life.

I mustered on through the week and before you knew it, the end was upon us. Prayer service was at a local mosque we all congregated in a multi storey prayer hall. Black, white, old, young it didn’t matter we were all there to glorify our lord. Afterwards we all embraced each other congratulating each other on a job well done. I returned home and got a call from MW. That was real special we talked for a long time. I gathered the nerve to say “I love you” our last exchange had her professing her love to me with me replying “um..okay” sheesh talk about awkward!

It was a Friday so I went for mid-day prayers which had me meeting more friends and more hugging. The rest of the day was spent relaxing at home. Kinda bland but hey what are you going to do? The next day my uncle invited me over for dinner. Which was nice. And that was that. A very modest celebration if I do say so myself, something very typical of Muslim celebrations. Hopefully next year MW and I can celebrate together in our own home. That would be a dream come true for both of us.

Drink this read that

Hmmm should this become a regular feature? With the summer season in full swing the masses are hot and sweaty. Air conditioning is needed for basic survival. Here in NYC you’ll find most apartments with their AC’s blasting. It’s a huge strain on the grid but ConEd doesn’t give out and continues pumping out the juice. Unlike other utilities I know which can’t get enough of shutting off your power and wreaking havoc with your sensitive appliances. MW often calls in complaining about the lack of power, which motivates me even more to bring her over ASAP.

At any rate being in the midst of a heat wave is no fun. You sweat a lot and remaining hydrating is an uphill battle. I have to literally walk up a hill to get to my apartment building. If I am carrying bags of groceries the strain is doubled. By the time I walk in and give myself a look in the lobby mirror I am a mess. What’s worse I have given myself a headache. I need a nice cup of tea to get me back on track. Of course the preferred drink to rehydrate in the states is any number of colored sports drink. As effective as they are they are only there to replenish you, they can’t stave off the effects of heat sickness.

May I suggest to you Hamdard’s Rooh Afza:

Hamdard is a prestigious laboratory based in Pakistan, specializing in herbal medicine. They have come up with numerous remedies to common ailments like coughs, flu, colds etc. Perhaps their most tasty concoction is their summer time remedy. The label says that it’s for preventing and curing common summer time ailments brought on by excessive heat. With its all natural ingredients you get a light and refreshing drink once the syrup has been mixed with a glass of cool water. Of course people don’t stop there, it’s sweet and aromatic taste has made it a staple ingredient for deserts. Mixed with milk it makes for a tasty shake (a treat my mom served up for iftar, its refreshing goodness was much appreciated after a long day of fasting). All in all it’s the perfect summer drink. You can look for it in specialty stores as Hamdard distributes in the US.

UPDATE1: RAMADAN MUBARAK TO ALL MY READERS! You guys have been great feeding the hit counter but slipping on the comments >:-\ Anyways if you are fasting this month more power to you hope you make it through in one piece, dropping bad habits along the way and of course being forgiven for the past years sins. Pray for yours truly that he can do the same. Peace.

UPDATE2: I just bought a bottle from my local desi grocer. Man were the lines packed! In the evening when I get home I pass by the store to pick up a few groceries, by few I mean by how much I can carry up the hill to my building. The evenings are always a frantic times as dads getting off of work are doing the required milk run and moms are picking up some last minute items for that dinner party they are having.

But today on the eve of Ramadan it seemed like all of Hillside descended on this one store. The lines were snaking into the aisles! At first I thought of bailing but I needed water to drink. So I toughed it out. Glad I did because while waiting in the line I came across a shipment of the red elixir. I had to have some, its a welcomed addition to the iftar. So yeah it seems I am all set for Ramadan I even got a new alarm clock but that story is for another time. I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog post...

During the summer months the heat isn’t the only thing rising. With women dressing down libidos are at an all time high. In the past (and not too distant past) my sex drive has gotten me into trouble. On the one hand my nafs says “just do it” while my religious conditioning says “don’t do it”. I am left in the lurch it’s like driving full force on a highway with your parking brakes on. Over time you start to smell a strange odor because something burned out. In my case it’s more than just a burn out, unfortunately for me I get a case of depression. Depression is no fun and the harmful effects ripple out from me and punish people close to me as well.

Although I get back on my feet and I am stronger for it the threat is always there. The worst thing that I could think of is hurting MW because of my illness. That’s why I wanted to learn more about what Islam says about Sex. Naysayers may be raising eyebrows by now. Islam recognizes sex? Yes, yes it does and it has plenty to say. Remember Islam is more than a religion it’s a complete way of life that can be followed individually, by the family, by the society and by an entire civilization. So why wouldn’t it guide us through one of the most sensitive issues a man and woman can face together?

May I introduce to you Mufti Ibn Adam’s book Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations:

Now for the most part conservatives like me and others tend to shy away from this topic. In my case I feel it’s immoral to go around talking about indecent things. Furthermore you stand the risk of exciting others and you would be partly punished for any sins that they commit. Keeping this in mind I didn’t want to mention that I bought this book. But then I see Islamophobics talking endlessly about how “them damn Moslems” go around beating their wives and killing their daughters. It made me sick to see how narrow minded and one sided their arguments really are. Often times they are so blinded by their hate they often don’t consider the facts and make their case based on heresy and paranoia.

Well I am here to set the record straight. We love our wives and daughters. We give more respect to our mothers than most American teens would ever dare to give. Oh and we know who are fathers are. I hate it when those morons get to me and I have to sling mud just like them. My apologies to any sensitive readers; so getting back to the review. In a word, stupendous.

I must say I had some preconceived notions of my own and this book helped clear them up. I have even more love for the prophet and respect for his companions after reading this. They were real human beings who faced each and every aspect of human nature with the utmost dignity and nobility. As God had intended their example became a beacon of enlightenment for all mankind for all times. Mufti Adam takes us through each phase of the typical sexual encounter. Mind it he clearly states that the only lawful encounter is between a man and his wife. As groundbreaking as this book may be he doesn’t condone any deviant relations, including homosexuality.

Having said that readers will find this book to be surprisingly liberal. The author himself tries to explain why he chose to be so explicit. He is a religious figure and is expected to maintain a certain level of decorum. But when he saw classical scholars, who enjoy tremendous respect in the Ummah, had written works on this subject in even greater detail. He felt embolden and began to tackle many modern issues we as Muslims living in the West have to face. Growing up in the glare of Hollywood we just like everyone else are often given our first lesson on sexual relations by celebrities. Its easy to make the case that they are not the best role models for a happy married life. But we get no respite society is saturated by their message and everything is geared towards fornication and adultery. It can make a man go mad!

That’s why I am deeply thankful to the Mufti for writing this book and to Allah for giving me the chance to read and understand it. The contents deal with mundane hadiths that we have been hearing ever since we were kids. Like staying clean and healthy. But then he brings up hadiths that our parents never mentioned. Let’s just say that Allah’s mercy to mankind was a skilled lover. Subhanallah. Oh and the chapter about the fiqh of ones wedding night, is enough to cover the cost of admission alone.

I don’t get paid to evangelize this work. I am just a fan and da’ee who wants to get the word out. I hope this book can help others just like it has helped me. If you want to interact with the Mufti, who is 30 something, born and raised in the UK and classically trained in Islamic teachings by some of the greatest scholars or our time you can go to his website. This link is also in the “Political Activism” blog roll look for the text Ask Adam.

So that’s my shpeel. All in all you should be ready for summer after reading this. You should know what to drink if you need to cool off. And what to read in case you can’t. Till next time I bid you farewell.